im about as happy as oj after his trial
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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