when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
