i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
