meet me or not, i'm out of control
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize