can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
