just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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