you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
