Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
