I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
