No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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