It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
