her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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