i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
