Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
