Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
