when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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