I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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