ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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