She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize