it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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