I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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