Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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