Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
