So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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