if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.