I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She announced her abortion via fbk
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I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
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We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.