Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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