Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
