do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
