Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
