the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
