apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
