she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
