how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
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we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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