I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize