so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I cut my penus on the lid.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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