Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
