shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
