I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
