yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
