I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
