I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
