I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
