so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
