Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
