You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
