I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
