Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
