"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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