trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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