Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
