If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
