so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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