can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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