I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
