literally had 100 drinks last night.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
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I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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