I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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