You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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