I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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