Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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