Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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