this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
