hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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