meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
where are my eyebrows?
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