Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize