he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
