Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
