thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
