I hope mine doesn't look like that
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Randomize
