i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
